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Dating in the Disability Community

February 10, 2015

Are you looking for love and companionship? If yes, Valentine’s Day may intensify your desire for a romantic relationship. Have you thought about where you will begin to look for love? Have you started dating in the disability community? Below are some ideas about how you can embrace dating in the disability community and, hopefully, find your soul mate.

It is the time of year when everyone seems to be professing their love. As Valentine’s Day approaches, there seems to be an increasing amount of advertisements prompting us to buy chocolates, order roses and send greeting cards to people we love. These are helpful reminders for many, but some of us can’t wait for the holiday to pass. After all, finding true love seems like a hopeless cause sometimes, right?

Valentine’s Day can be a reminder of one of the most exciting and complex human conditions: falling in love. While it’s important to use this day to celebrate love in general, rather than focus on romantic love, it is easy to get caught up in the web of discouragement. When is Mr. or Mrs. Right going to come along?

This question plagues some people in the disability community, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day. People living with disabilities are not excluded from having feelings of love, desiring romance, or longing for companionship. However, the paths we take to find love tend to be different from society at large.

Why is Dating in the Disability Community Different?

Living with disability can be a lonely experience. Do you ever feel like the people you are closest to don’t truly understand you? Remain hopeful; there may be more people who share your struggle than you think. However, one reason why dating in the disability community is different than other parts of society is because we aren’t always meeting people who have similar qualities as us, and therefore, understand us.

More so, the need for relational attachment can be easily overlooked for people in the disability community. The people who help to support and empower us are focused on helping us with education and medical needs, and everyday tasks. Helping us find outlets to new relationships tends to fall low on the list of day-to-day priorities. But this doesn’t mean dating is not important. If you long to find love, there are several paths you can pursue.

Finding Love by Dating in the Disability Community

Finding love begins with knowing what (or who) you are looking for. When dating in the disability community, one of the first questions you need to ask yourself is whether or not you want to date someone with a similar impairment as you. Take Sherry Nevius (52) for example. She wants to meet a man who is in a wheelchair. As a person with cerebral palsy, she gets around in a wheelchair and wants to be on the “same level” as her man.

If you are looking for someone who also lives with disability, you do not need to look much further than the Internet. In the past decade a long list of websites and social networks have come available for people dating in the disability community.

Online dating is not the only path for finding love in the disability community. Several local organizations host gatherings for people with disabilities each week. Get involved with a variety of programs that take place in your neck of the woods. The more plugged-in to the community you are, the higher chances you have of meeting someone you like.

Dating is all about being proactive. If you are sociable, either online or in person, you are more likely to meet the man or woman of your dreams.

Safety when Dating in the Disability Community

As you explore new social programs and online dating websites in your efforts to find love, remember to be safe. The thrill of seeking romance can cloud your vision and cause you to do things you might not usually do. Therefore, put some principles in place that can guide you as you date. Here are some suggestions:

  • Always meet in public
  • Be familiar with your meeting place
  • Don’t give out too much personal information
  • Avoid drinking too much alcohol
  • Be honest

The process of finding love is a winding road, but you will be ready for the journey if you have rules in place to protect your body, mind and heart. While you want to be open to finding new love, remember that the right relationship will take time to form. Try not to rush into relationships.

There are several avenues people take to find love. Dating in the disability community is not easy – but it is possible. With online dating websites and local programs for people with disabilities, you may be closer to the person of your dreams than you think.

Have you had success dating in the disability community? What was your experience like? Share with us and our readership by writing a comment in the “reply” section below. Similarly, if you are struggling to find love after years of online and offline effort, we want to hear from you. If you feel comfortable, leave a comment below discussing the unique challenges people with disabilities face when dating.

Valentine’s Day is around the corner and love is in the air. Is this the year that you feel ready for love to enter your life? If so, don’t let the holiday pass you by. Be proactive in your search for Mr. or Mrs. Right.

9 Comments. Leave new

joe chamberland
February 11, 2015 4:37 pm

Hi am joe with a disabilities . I can work my body is mangle. I get a disabilitie money plus cpp .so not many woman want date a 60 old man that brook. but my body is still slim & build. love is from the heart . if a man & woman love as god wants that man & woman will glow. love one another as god wants we will glow. love is from the heart not what in our wallet . thanks [ happy valentines to all

How about a dating singles club for those who want to find a partner ….. ???

yes I would like to meet someone..who is able to look after himself and be a compassionate and a Christian is a must..I am a Christian too.

Dating with a disability to be honest is harder than without… I have a physical disability that has proved to me that as a disabled individual, l have to go a step further than any of the other people out there.
I have struck interesting conversations and have been considered for a steady relationship but the disability comes on the way. These are relationships with non-disabled individuals. I have proved that l can be attracted to some people who in turn do get attracted to my personality, we could even click in many ways than you may know but these individuals fail to make any commitments dreading the public eye; friends, family etc. What they are going to think of them… dating a disabled individual!

I know many of our disabled bretheran who have resorted to dating other individuals with a disability. While this may work, we need to be careful that those relationships come about due to giving up on the people we truly like out there, sometimes just settling for each other not necessarily as soul mates but just to do it for the sake of it.
On a positive note; Let us be true to ourselves and seek those who would accept us as we are. Sometimes family is the culprit in instealling ideas that we can never love and be loved out there in the world, but this is not true.
I could go on and on about this and more other examples of personal experience about love and dating as a disabled person. I could even inspire us to approach this subject differently if l had the opportunity.

Trying to love myself and live with the pain of fibromaligia and IBS <3 <3 Happy Valitine

Kevin James miller
February 12, 2015 1:52 am

I am a man who has been hurt and sick and hopless at finding a true love or relationship cause with crones people don’t understand I am still me and will never change cause it doesn’t dictate who I am

I met this girl at GF Stronga rehab centre ; we liked each other then ihad to leave they wanted my bed….she had to leave a week later/ she searched for me for 8 years and finally i got a phone call it was her! what a surprise! we have been a couple ever since the call….i could not ignore her searching that long ..she is amazing! ew will spend Valentines together but lack pf funds prevents getting her something special…I live in a long term care facility and have trusteewho has a clamp on my small pension.but we wil be together i made her a card

I have never had sexual relations, or kissed a woman. The only two close relationships I’ve had were with women who didn’t have special needs. The first one was unaware that I was diaper dependent until she saw a picture of me in one. We never did anything intimate things besides cuddling. The second and most recent until last year was aware from the beginning of my special needs, we started as friends, and then I started sleeping over, but never with her. She tucked me in and mothered me though, but we never did anything intimate together. As she felt I wasn’t interested in that side of things. I’m now looking on Valentines day to kiss a woman for the first time who I will be doing things with that day. Maybe it will lead to something? Wish me luck! ♥

If it was encouraging to read Brian story. I hope Brian and his special woman had a great Valentine’s Day together!

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